IONA DOUGLIN

The holiday season is fast approaching and once again I am missing you more than ever. You brought a special joy and cheer during Christmas which has pretty much lost its lustre since you left. I try my darndest to bring the family together and make the season festive as you did in your lifetime, but it does not work. Mom the family has become so disjointed and it makes me so sad. I grew up all my life watching you keep the family together, especially this time of year and I so miss that. It's not the same without you. The joy and true meaning of Christmas still stands, but the warmth, laughter and joy of family time leaves a void in my heart. I remember you and Daddy loving Christmas by embracing the family, by your late night traditional baking and cooking, visits of friends and family and most of all good cheer and laughter. Yes, this has changed. What is Christmas without hosting your family and spending quality time? We have each gone our separate ways and I find myself longing for the times we spent.So much fun, so much joy, so much laughter, so much food and goodies......
Merle has not left the condo to spend time with us, Earl will visit based on his mood, Marilyn is in NY and Pearl in Trinidad, so it's  pretty much just me and the kids and dear friends of course to create those memories. I must say the grandchildren bring a lot of spark to the day, thank God for them. Well, Mom I have decided to spend the holiday in Trinidad this year to enjoy some of that family time with my cousins. I plan to spend it with Patty since it is the first Christmas since her husband passed; of course, Auntie Rieulla and the rest will be there, so I am looking forward to our time together. Desi will be heading up to NY and will spend it with Anthony, Brian has decided to stay at home. I feel bad going home and leaving the rest, but I long to spend it at home after having not been there for 30+ years. I am excited. Mom there is so much to say, so many crazy things that happened that I could only share with you ,and feel the comfort and concern you have always given. We will miss Uncle Octave this year also, but I know you are up there smling as you reunite with your family. You are probably baking up a storm and have planned the day's menu already. This is what you do best and that is what I miss the most. Merry Christmas to you, Daddy and all the family in heaven.
You will live in my heart forever and ever. I love you and miss you dearly.  Merry Christmas 2012!

Well Mom another year has rolled around and it is Happy Birthday to you in heaven. I thought about the beautiful flowers you so enjoyed, the fun and laughter at dinner, the cake we would buy 'cause we are not the baker you were, the cheerful, belly aching, hearty laughter when we 'thought' we had surprised you. Mom I wish you all the things you love and longed for in heaven. You were the epitome of Birthday celebrations ensuring that it was a special day for everyone. You had the memory of an elephant remembering everyone's birthday. You were indeed a unique and special person with so much love to share and spreading the joy of fun and laughter with all those you met. You had a special gift of LOVE Mom. I miss you daily and there is not a day that I don't think of phoning you with something to share. Last year held some tough moments, but your resilience has thought me to hold on and move forward. You had ultimate physical, mental and emotional strength in my eyes. Mom I will always admire the woman you were and I strive to be that woman every day. Your words of advice and reprimand resonate in my mind everytime I have to make a decision. I can still hear your voice.  We are all well, grandkids are growing up and how I wish you were here to enjoy them and mold them into the beings they ought to be. THey are such a joy and I can hear your joyful laughter as they do their funny antics. Keep looking down on us. With a resounding sound we all sing you the 'Happiest Birthday' ever. Mom Thanks for being the best Mom ever and I love you and miss you dearly. HAPPY 95th BIRTHDAY in Heaven.


Sone glad morning when this life is over, I'll fly away knowing that I'll see you again.

September 5, 2011
Mom, it's me once again just letting you know everyday I wake up I appreciate you more and more. Daily I realize that you were indeed a special God sent who never turned your back on anyone, no matter the time, the day or the hour. Like GOD you were always there for me when I needed you the most. Sometimes when struggles face you, you just need someone to listen to you no matter what, someone who is not too busy, one who will not say it's too late, talk to you tomorrow, someone who will sense there is a need to talk NOW, not tomorrow. I am so glad that when others turn their backs, GOD never does. Mom I miss you sooooo much and looking back at your life it makes me more resilient, builds my endurance and strength to carry on, because you were never too busy to listen and you never gave up or gave in. Thank you for being the most wonderful MOM ever. R.I.P.

 Each year when Sheldon's Birthday passes by it's a bittersweet time for him because while he's celebrating another year of his life, he also remembers that only days later it's the anniversary of your passing. He says you waited until after his Birthday as much as you could. We miss you so much Granny and I hope you see when we come and visit you where you rest. I hope you hear what we say and feel what's in our hearts. I remember one night I couldn't find Sheldon after a family issue and I drove by the cemetery in the middle of the night to see if I would find him there. There he sat at 3 a.m. in the rain crying over your grave and asking that you help him mend the relationships that have gone sour in the family. To some it's insignificant to keep those relationships strong but to others it's vital. He feels a weight on him since you passed like it's his job to keep everyone together but as much as he's tried, his attempts are futile. Today I see an empty space where that urge recently laid and he's numb to it all. I think we've all played a role in what has come to be today, including myself so now we need to find a way to fix it. Granny I ask that wherever you are you illuminate us and help us find our way back to what it once was. Help us see the value of one another and appreciate each other's existence. I fear that as time goes by the relationships will drift further apart and only in death will we reunite. Although your physical presence is no longer with us, we know that spiritually you are there to guide us and protect us. We love, miss, and NEED you more than ever Granny....

The post below was dated July 25, 2011